Homeland Security

Greg The Reader passes along this article about a teacher who was booted right out of the European History AP reading for not producing the proper ID credentials for her I-9 form, the lucky bastard.

Her mistake was that she attempted to switch from one subject to another, which made her a new hire, which meant she was regarded as a non-citizen until she produced the proper documentation proving otherwise. Good. However, policies such as this resulted in frantic security guards at our site: “Ma’am? Ma’am, you need to be wearing your nametag at all times while in the facility.” Bad.

This extensive security measure consisted of a piece of plastic around the neck and a tiny, entirely copyable square of white paper bearing our names, our school of origin, and–this was the true anti-terrorist stopgap–the word READER in bold type across the top.

Now, I get the need for us to show our credentials. However, what happened was that I started seeing readers wearing their nametags all the time, even while not reading, even while not in in the building. I cannot tell you how much, and why, this pissed me off. Possibly because when I was in grade school, I was that kid.

EXTRA PLACES READERS WORE AROUND-THE-NECK PLASTIC NAMETAGS

Fitness room

Hotel pool

Shopping after dinner

AT THE FREAKING AIRPORT ON THE WAY OUT OF KENTUCKY

Jogging along the Ohio River

Churchill Downs

Downtown bars (It’s the pickup line which builds itself!)