Blonde Champagne

Contradictions

Wednesday, July 1, 2009 · 8 Comments

You gotta lotta time to think with your knee jacked up over your heart, listening to the tendons heal.

How is it that a German Catholic from the West side of Cincinnati cannot abide beer?

Why does a person with a mathematical learning disability develop a lifelong obsession with the space program?

What’s going on when the child who actively prayed for her appendix to burst so that she may legally leave class becomes a teacher?

Why would a horribly pale woman who can’t stand bugs or humidity and who very nearly failed Spanish move to Florida for five years, and then mope in front of a Cocoa Beach webcam for minutes on end after moving out?

How come the same person who writes scathing essays about unrealistic female body image stands in front of the dressing room mirror with half a swimsuit on and bursts into tears?

Why did the the girl once voted “Most Likely Future Nun” graduate from the sister school of the flagship of Catholic higher education and then marry a person who currently has Martin Luther’s Bible Concordance bedside?

How can a person who was born on the coldest day in the history of Cincinnati dread winter so deeply that a cold window triggers a panic attack?

Why do babies, even paper babies in a magazine, make me cry, but the thought of producing one also triggers a panic attack?

WHERE IS MY PERCOSET?!

just asking at:  mbe@drinktothelasses.com

Categories: Dude.

8 responses so far ↓

Leave a Comment